In · the · reflection · of · dreams....

Don't worry, I'm OK!

Prom sucked. I paid way too much for cheap glitter and bad lighting. My escort, unfortunatly, was too awkward to provide much to work with, but I tried (maybe not enuf, but I tried.)

Shoulda gone to my old school's prom. Woulda had fun there with close friends, but hindsight proves once again to be 20/20.

Recently discovered there was a movie made of Cornelia Funke's 'Thief Lord.' Really disappointed in myself for not knowing that until now. Rollo Weeks of 'The Little Vampire' fame played the lead, and wow! He's looking pretty good these days.

Lastly, I played the hero at work tonight. They called me just after school asking if I could come in because one poor woman had been working there since 6 AM this morning.

Ah, yes. They love me :D

Fare well, and good morrow.

1. Dating is a trial period to discern what you want/don't want in a mate. NOT MARRIAGE!

2. I refuse to be bound and limited by one person.

3. The drama is ridiculous and petty. Again, not marriage.

4. I want my options open while I'm young.

5. There are thousands upon millions more people in this world. If I don't like something within the first three months, I'll look elsewhere.

6. Every guy thus far has approached me with the sole thought of dating. Never "we'll get to know one another, be friends the start with, then MAYBE date if we match up." Or am I just backwards for entering things like that?

7. I want a man. Not a drama-queen, not a "macho stud," not a skittish twig. I want him big, gentle, intelligent and willing to discuss politics and religion without bias, and just as emotionally-detached as I am.

8. If I die....soon, I don't wanna go with having dated a car theif, a nerd, and an emo-kid.

Pant, pant, grrr. There! I would come up with ten if I knew for sure certain people wouldn't be reading this.

I'm sure that at one (more likely MULTIPLE) point(s), you've gotten sick of people. Friends start ticking you off, coworkers are annoying, family is getting to you, etc.

I've been this way for nearly two weeks. Everyone is pissing me off, but really, its for no apparent reason.

Incident 1: I asked my cuz to scan a pic of a horse we're trying to sell. I needed it the next day, at the LATEST, but she couldn't get it done because she was sick. Can I ask just how sick one must be in order to be become incapable of spending 10 minutes to scan and send a pic? GRRR.

Incident 2: A friend (let's call her Ella) snaps at others to "defend" her academic record. Someone remarked that she shouldn't have worried about a test, she was going to do just fine anyway. She responds with, "I have high expectations of myself that I intend to uphold," all in a rather harsh tone. Next, someone teases her of copying from Sparknotes. "I did not! I wrote all myself." Possibly, but the 5-line quote you copied directly from the book. Relax anyway, he said it cuz he knew you would be ruffled by it. Lastly, I'm trying to write a paper with her, but I'll be damned! It was the worst paper I have ever seen. She insisted on following this format she learned back in freshman year, which was an excellent method, but heaven-forbid she should stray from THAT format! It was LAW. Screw modesty! - I KNEW some of my suggestions were a helluva lot better than what she wrote.

Incident 3: Ella, again, is at the lunch table, dutifully defending the queen's throne. So when Beth comes to sit down there, Ella comes to that defenseless chair's rescue and saves it for her Highness. Beth pulls a chair over to sit at the table, but not before saying, "Sorry, I didn't see her name on it." Now, Beth is a fun girl and as I didn't witness this horrific blasphemous act against the teen-queen, but I assume she meant the statement as a joke. But Ella gets defensive (as many young girls are unfortunatly apt to do) and scares Beth off. After she's left the table, Ella shares her victory with the rest of the table and claims "(Beth) could have been more mature about it." -....

....*quirked eyebrow* "More mature about it?" Is it ironic that the girl who jumped all over to save a mere chair calls the other immature? ITS A CHAIR! The duchess can get her own from the other 30 surrounding her!

This bothers me.

And to add to the situation (cuz its not wacky enuf), the royal-one is my own beloved cuz. The selfish, lazy girl I can't get a single scan from rules the table. I'm disgusted to be caught in this "intricate" social ladder of teen-girl-world. None of it is important in a WEEK's time, so why is it such a big deal now?

And if I hear one more thing about Prom - grrrr, someone's gonna get hurt.

I realize that in the long run, this is all trash that no one will remember anyway, but for the week, its really been bugging me. All these selfish people bent on ruining others so long as it doesn't crimp their style or become a burden for them.

All I want in this life is to love it, and these greedy, self-serving PEOPLE are getting in my way!

Ugh, got home from work at 7 and I STILL smell like grease :P This is just sick. I don't know what is more disgusting: the fact that I serve ppl this crap, or them actually EATING in.

Oh well, it's over for the weekend. Now I have to suffer thru another 2 chapters in Huck Finn. I can't stand the poor speach in the book but I s'pose its correct for the time period. Still...

O! and lastly, thanks to everyone who helped me out at the kandraker community (someday I'll learn to link this stuff.) I asked for some info and pix of Cedric from later issues and thanks (again) to their wonderful help, I know whats up without having to poorly translate websites. YES!

Well, I got my snow. Friday night, it snowed. FRIDAY! So we couldn't go shopping because the roads were too slippery. Okay.

So, we went this morning. But before we could go, we had to clean up the house and whatnot. I was on garbage duty and my stepdad nearly burst a blood vessel when I forgot to burn a scrap of cardboard. Then, he had a full-on heart attack and began ranting to us about cleaning/finish what you start because he ran into the vacuum that MOM left out. Grrrrr.

The real kick in the balls was when I'm setting out to work and my boss calls asking where I am. Appearently, when they say 3-8, they MEAN 1:30-8. So, I got chewed for that and it set the tone for the rest of the evening. I was so embarrassingly dysfunctional at work tonight. I couldn't listen and act for the life of me. :P

It's gonna be a looooooong weekend.

Well, finals are done. Got a D on Physics, B in English, B in Algebra, A in Art, and B+ in Sociology. I'll be getting my Spanish sometime this week. YIKES!

Starting working at the Roundhouse (local gas station, grill, utility store, candy shop, grocer) and have discovered just exactly what is in those oddly shaped burgers. I don't mind the work, but its gonna be a LONG time before I'll remember everything and do it well. Saturdays are a pain 'cause the whole town comes in but Sundays aren't so bad 'cause people are feeling too guilty from church to eat anything. I work 7 AM to 2 PM and from 11 on, the day just draaaaaags.

Went to Tucker's Saturday night and managed to stay just a li'l longer than I had planned. Oops. So, Sunday at work was harder than it shoulda been due to only 5 hours of sleep. But it was great! So much fun just to catch up with old friends again (and Wedding Crashers wasn't that bad).

Now, today, thank God, I get off of school. Ugh, I needed it. Between stressing over finals and work, I was nearly ill all week. I'm gonna spend today watching Disney, cruising message boards, and baking wicked chocolate sweets. Ahhhhhhhh.

Oh man, its started. I just had my first day of finals. Gasp, sputter, gag.

Sociology was easy enough, just incredibly long. English was going well until it came to sentence-combining. I can't believe I forgot some of that stuff. Lastly, my Art Intro final ruled! I. AM. AWESOME! My final portrait turned out really good. I suprised myself.

Tomorrow, though, is gonna hurt. Starting with a taunting Algebra test, moving onto a vicious Spanish, then ending with a stunning Physics final.

Oh god, I can't breathe.

Y'kno, I really never did completely buy into the cursed Friday the 13th superstition.... Until today:

The Good: I studied 2 hours for an English test that I got 3 marked off of, but the second test I was unprepared for, I aced. Go figure.

The Bad: Even though I felt ready for it, I'm pretty sure I bombed my Algebra test. This guy's test are never anything like the homework. Never. At all.

The Curse of 13: 1. We were merrily on our way to school, making good time, right? Well, Mum had to stop at the district office to pick up some files. OK. So we waited in the car for an extra five minutes. It doesn't sound bad but I have another 10 minute walk for her elementary school to my high school. So I come screeching into the building at a minute to class starting! Holy Hell.

2. Next, for my Sociology final, we have to write an essay on the film The Shawshank Redemption, including what we learned this year using 30 examples from the movie. My plan was to rent the movie for the weekend and get a start on the essay, so I call MovieGallery Thursday night and get it reserved. I go there today to pick it up only to discover that they only hold reservations for an hour. Who the hell reserves something for an hour! And they had just given their last copy to a classmate. Alright! So on to Wal-Mart, with its 6 movie racks spread about the store. But lo and behold! They don't have it either! Four phone calls later, my aunt is kind enough to rent it for me. Thank you Jane!

3. Lastly, my little sister is doodling in the living room while I'm downstairs cleaning. I hear a panicked shriek, go to investigate, and discover a MARKER has exploded on the loveseat! Well, we tried to clean it up a bit but instead managed the BLEACH the upholstry. Oh joy.

So, yeah. I'm just gonna curl up in a hole and cry.

Well, I'm HOOOOOOOOOME! Took 22 hours and driving all Saturday to get here at 5 in the morning Sunday, then driving another 4+ hours to return the rental van. WHEW!

I meant to write eariler but I'm still sleeping off the trip. And to make it even better, class finals in 2 weeks - joy overwhelms me -.-

Anyhow, the week's going well: still wanna slap the ppl in my lunch hour, plotting to kidnap D, and am excited to go to my old school's winter dance on the 28th. WHAT am I gonna wear?!

Nevermind, I have spanish homework to stress over. Talk to you all soon!

Made it. Just thought I'd let friends know. Suffered a 20+ hour car-ride with younger sisters but I managed. Hope you all had a great holiday and I hope your vacation is longer than mine is.

Love and a happy new year!

I just figure "Happy Holidays" is the safest phrase. Kinda covers all bases, doesn't it?

Anywho, I'll be seeing you in Florida! Kisses, MWAH!

Christmas on the beach, surrounded by (hopefully) handsome men, and drowning/forgetting all that I've learned in school for the past 4 months in chocolate. Mmmm.

Best wishes and a happy new year!

Anthony Brownrigg is my hero! Drinks all around! Okay, here's the deal. I was buzzed from too much Pepsi and Hershey bars to sleep, so I toured the internet until I found a nifty li'l link.

The story goes that Mr. Brownrigg was given a werewolf story to turn into an independent film. "Devoured" was to be the typical werewolf gore-fest but before beginning, Brownrigg put up a message board to get werewolf fans' input. What came back called for a complete revision of the original plot.

Now, the story leans more toward what the viewers want to see. The werewolves are aware of their nature and in (some) control, but one struggles to keep his secret from his girlfriend. I command you watch the teaser trailer at the "Freenborn" website

Dustin is my OTHER hero! Today was only a half-day of school, meaning classes were cut in half and were a bit more than chaotic. Anywho, I spent my li'l half-hour math class with D and Guppy, trying to finish an assignment and Dustin spent much the time laughing and smiling (he was teasing his stepbro.)

I'm just juiced now! From the heavy snowfall (dare I say...~snowday?~ *knock on wood! knock on wood! for the love of god, knock on wood!*), the short school day, Christmas, Dustin, WEREWOLVES!!

AHHHHHHHHH!! I need chocolate!

I feel so much better now. Sorry bout the whine-fest the other day, but it put things into perspective, which I needed.

So, in the news: I talked to Dustin! He's such a bashful and modest guy, which is rare considering he's an Adonis. We didn't cover much ground due to time constraints, but at least I started something.

Also, I signed up on a forum (wow! This "opening-up" thing isn't so bad) at WritingForums. I would be "ironmouse".

Its a site for amateur writers to help/support each other. You see, I have a lot of story ideas, but I can't ever seem to write them.

( Here )

I really hope its original, so if the plot sounds even the slightest bit familiar to anyone, please let me know.

And lastly, combined lunch at THS SUCKS! You need to spend 40 minutes of a 50 minute lunch hour just to get CLOSE to the food. I cannot believe how people packed themselves in there like that. It was absolutely insane!

Something must be wrong with me. Its the only explanation. Nobody talks to me anymore!

Why?! Am I too quiet, not quiet enuf; smart, stupid, ANNOYING?!

I can count on one hand the number of words I've said at lunch. I think I'm pissed. Yeah, pissed! Damn teen-queens and their lackeys! And dumbass jocks!

You wanna kno something? (no? TUFF) Ryan is a disgusting, self-serving pig! I dont care how damn "HOTT" he is. He's STILL an ass.

And Katie is a loud, unashamed gossip! Nobody cares about so-n-so's hickey! If I wanna kno, I'll ask. NICELY.

And where the hell is my dearly beloved cousin during all this? She's undressing the hockey team with her eyeballs, that's where!

I'm so sick of people brushing me off, ignoring me, leaving me! I haven't had a good, open heart-to-fucking-heart with Mum in MONTHS. She's off playing teenager with the new hubby.

FINE!

S'not like I could talk to her anyway! She'll just tut and say "Well, just talk to someone. Make friends."

I can't do it! I'm sending off some people-repelent vibe in my aura or some shit like that and its royally pissing me off!!

What the hell is wrong with me that I cant just "be out there" or talk! Not even online! Im trying this polite, sugar-coated, grammatically correct approach and I get those fucking quirky-eyebrow-emotocons!

Am I too nice, too long-winded? SOMEONE TELL ME!! I cant fix the problem if I dont kno what it is!

Nobody's gonna read this anyway.

Ugh, made it back from Oklahoma City at 4 AM, Sunday morning. I think I've finally caught up on most of my schoolwork: all that's left is my Art poster, Algebra, and English. That's not so bad.

I just got back from a fun night at my cousin's for Thanksgiving. And the lucky li'l duck her, she got to go out on a date with, what I hear, a good-looking, pleasant guy. God, its hard to believe, but there IS such a thing as a decent man! AMAZING!

I wish her the best of luck in a hopefully promising relationship (and with the hockey season ;) ).

Good night and Happy Turkey Day.

A million thanks to vampirenaomi who was kind enough (and patient enough) to scan numerous Cedric (from W.I.T.C.H.) pictures for me. I've been having a terrible time finding images of him.

I must confess, though: I focus on Cedric solely because he's a giant snake-man. I love monsters; particulary the more detailed ones. Think H.R. Giger's Alien designs and the Predator.

As for more classic beasts, I must admit that werewolves come before vampires for me. Perhaps it's the animal magnetism?

And now Cedric has become my current favorite. The creature design is one the most unique and original ones I've seen recently. Thus making him my latest craze.

So, thank you again vampirenaomi, and I insist on returning the favor (dunno how, but I'll find a way)!

Wonderful news! My stepdad has a judging job in Okalahoma City and has invited me to go with him. I've agreed so in a week's time, I'll be tucked safely away in hotel. I'm planning it as a short vacation, though the all the school I'll be missing will kill me (or at least the homework will).

I'm so thrilled! I'll have a pleasent break from lonely lunch-hours and bustling hallways. Ah, the good life.